[East Side Gym Kirtland AFB, NM] JULIE: I did talk to him first, but it was a casual way to give him an opening. I had noticed him at the gym for months, lifting a million pounds, using interesting techniques, and generally being hot and strong. Since there were no operational hamstring machines I tried to use a quad machine for hamstrings and saw him try the same thing so I mustered the courage to ask him how it worked for him. He proceeded to explain hamstring mechanics to me for a while, but he did take the opening and talked to me at the gym the next couple of times. RAY: For all of my gym bros, I will be writing a book on my Nobel Peace Prize worthy accomplishment on having a girl talk to me in the gym first. But, if Julie hadn't talked to me first, we wouldn't be typing this long exposition about our relationship timeline. What Julie also forgets to admit is that her dad told her "whenever you see the next boy in the gym - don't spend months thinking about it, just talk to him" (paraphrase). Luckily that boy was me. Also Julie is going to pester me if I don't say that I did call my friend(s) excitedly after she talked to me for the first time.

JULIE: Our first date was to South Piedra Lisa Trail in the Sandia mountains, it was a bit snowy at the top but Ray helped me through in my dusty old converse. I am still not sure why he really wanted to go all the way to the top. I remember the awkwardness of choosing who would hike in front and discussions of his tattoo and its meaning. We went for dinner and stayed talking there for an unacceptable amount of time per American standards. I haven’t been on too many dates so after dinner I just said goodbye, I later learned that Ray wondered if everything was okay. RAY: Not even a hug? Color me confused. Only thing I'll say is that Julie is way too fast of a hiker - what's up beast. Anyways I want to talk about our second date, where we went to the Zoo and ended up talking for hours at a burger restaurant. Our conversation revolved around a lot of morals and ethics, and while it initially made me nervous, but that date was important because it formed the backbone of our relationship and future life together.

[Isleta Amphitheater, NM] JULIE: Ray got us tickets to Chris Stapleton, who I didn’t know at the time, but since then I have gotten into country music. We sat together on the grass and Ray sang along. I liked that he enjoyed it so much. RAY: For those who know me, I normally HATE country music. For one reason or another, I got really into Chris Stapleton - it happened to be a good date idea, and this picture is how everyone else found out we started dating.

[HOME, Rhode Island and New York] JULIE: I was stopping at home after presenting at a conference in Europe and Ray flew out to spend time with me there too. It was a wonderful trip. Ray impressed my family with his karaoke skills and my grandparents with his muscles (he later basically carried my grandma up the chapel steps at Christmas time). We also got to relax on the beach, which is one of our favorite activities. We also visited NYC on this trip and I got to meet Ray’s parents and have him show me around his old stomping ground. It was wonderful to me how welcoming each of our families were. RAY: Man I didn't realize we met the families this quickly. Love happens quickly sometimes. I'm also glad that both of our families were accepting at the time. My parents in particular think Julie is the perfect daughter-in-law, every asian parent's dream.

[The Road] JULIE: I am so grateful that we got to have the time together that we did before the Navy moved Ray to build love and trust. We made a road trip out of his move to Virginia Beach, visiting Oklahoma City, Birmingham, and Asheville. I enjoyed every day of the trip but it was quite bittersweet as each day brought us closer to being separated. It also didn’t help that despite the fact that we chose the southern route, we had to drive through a blizzard. Ray brought us through safe and sound though and I helped him organize his new house (particularly his dresser which I pressured him to obtain so that he didn’t just have clothes piles). I cried when I flew back to Albuquerque because there were so many unknowns, but every separation after that one has gotten easier as our relationship has grown more and more secure. RAY: The most unfortunate thing about my time in New Mexico is that Julie and I didn't talk to each other sooner. I've done long distance before, but for some reason, I felt it was already going to be pretty easy - but also the hardest thing at the same time. I'm forever grateful that Julie's dad was a former Navy Captain. Being a military brat is definitely a blessing in being able to empathize the realities of being in the military.

[Paris and Saint-Etienne-la-Thillaye] JULIE: We had a magical time on this trip and brought my youngest sister along as a high school graduation gift, which made it additionally special. We explored each of the different arrondissements, stopping frequently at cute cafes and beautiful cathedrals along the way. In the middle of our trip, we went to Saint-Etienne-la-Thillaye in Normandy to celebrate Ray’s friend’s wedding. We rented a fantastic cottage that was way older than our country and enjoyed exploring the village and adjacent historic coastal town. I had been to Paris before, but it felt so much more magical to be exploring it with Ray. RAY: Arrondissements - what a cultured savant. I had never been to Paris before, so it was already going to be magical - but made better being with Julie. Shoutout to the boy Seth and Chloe and their cats (Max and Marie specifically). For those who know - I eat to live, but may be a hot take, French food is good but the food is extremely repetitive.

[Maxwell AFB, AL] JULIE: It has been a desire of mine for a while to serve my country in the AF reserves and finally made it happen and went to Officer Training School in March. It wasn’t the most fun experience in the world, but I did make some great memories and the whole time I got to look forward to seeing Ray again at the end. Ray and my family came down to Montgomery Alabama for my graduation. Being reunited with them was so exciting and joyful for me and I was so so grateful that they made the trip. Ray swore me in and I was so grateful and proud to have him there with me. RAY: This picture was taken after she had ALREADY been sworn in as an officer. And by the way, they made her do it AGAIN at the graduation parade ceremony. USAF man... Also I was the only person who actually bothered to memorize the oath. Amateurs, it isn't that hard... In addition, she earned her rank the dishonest way. I've been in ten years, and she thinks she can waltz in with a PHD and get O-3.

[Prattville, AL] JULIE: We had known that we wanted to get married for a while, so Ray got me the engagement ring a few months before and I thought he was likely to ask me on this trip so that my family could be there too, which he knew was important to me. My parents extended the trip a couple of days and on 22 May Ray was acting a little odd, like extra affectionate and nervous and I got a feeling that he was going to ask me in the backyard of the house we were staying in. I asked him to find a cuter spot instead and after some exploration we decided on Prattville, which was a nearby town on a river with a historic mill and beautiful fountain. He asked me there with my family on the other side of the fountain and it was beautiful and quaint and perfect. RAY: The boy don't skip leg day fr. It's weird - I kind of knew after like three months I wanted to marry her. For those who know us, we're pretty different personality wise. But our morals, ethics, and beliefs are almost 100% completely identical. I think at the end of the day - this is the defining aspect of our relationship and why we love each other so much.

[Bremerton Navy Base, WA] JULIE: We decided that it would be logistically preferable to get civilly married prior to our true church wedding. Turns out, it was tremendously easy to get a license and Ray's ship chaplain performed the casual ceremony for us right off the aircraft carrier. I was excited and my heart felt all fluttery but I never questioned our choice to get married and when I looked at Ray all that I saw and felt was love. It felt like I stuck out strangely walking in my fancy satin dress on the dingy dock, but with Ray I always feel comfortable and safe and it was exciting. Ray: That extra BAH looking nice. I was a bit skeptical why Julie wanted to wear her nice fancy white dress, but she is indeed beautiful in this picture amongst the dinginess. Thankfully Julie did not insist I wear a nicer uniform, as I am allergic to doing that unless I'm absolutely forced to. This current tour is a definitely my most challenging so far professionally - I recently switched from Naval Flight Officer over to Communications System Warfare Officer, going from flying to IT management (nerd job to nerd job, go figure), starting from scratch after 10 years in. I couldn't have gotten through this tour without my wife by my side all the way.

[Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia] JULIE: The next particularly notable trip that we went on was to Ray’s ancestral homeland of Malaysia. We stayed in Kuala Lumpur and enjoyed exploring the complicated history of the country through museums – and going to many shopping malls of which the city seems to have 1,000,000. We got to experience the traditions surrounding Chinese New Year which I greatly enjoyed learning about so that we can introduce our children to them one day. I was especially happy to be there because I know that Ray’s heritage is very important to him and I want to learn everything about it that I can. RAY: "Lo Hei!" I cannot fathom how many Yee Sang we ate during the trip. Didn't eat as much Roti Canai as I wanted to. Haven't been back in 20 years, but Malaysia is basically the ideal place I'd live in if I could. I appreciate that my wife (technically, as we got court-married literally the day before we left) was super open about experiencing the city, the culture, the food (Malaysian is the most underrated cuisine), and my extended family. I've missed the opportunity to go back like three times (thanks Navy), but I made the time to go this time around and it was made better with Julie.